Lessons from the Lionesses' Den...
As I write this, the Lionesses are enjoying their victory tour in central London with tens of thousands celebrating. But this is about more than football....ready to find YOUR inner Lioness?
That penalty, that dogged defence, that determination. The England team took it up a notch and then some on Sunday night - encapsulated by kick-ass Chloe Kelly. Preparing for her spot-kick - shoulders squared, cool as a frozen cucumber - we dared to dream of a second consecutive Euros victory for England. And with one emphatic strike, the demons of the group stage and rollercoaster knock-out games were laid firmly to rest.
I actually gasped as the ball pounded the back of the net and felt tears spring to my eyes. I was in complete awe and in that moment I knew: this wasn’t merely a footballer taking a decisive and winning kick. It represented a powerful moment for gender equality. Millions of viewers mesmerised by a woman owning her power - in a sport so saturated with masculine judgement. With no doubt, no wobble, no apology, Chloe Kelly oozed pure skill and unwavering “I’ve got this.” And the watching fans loved her for it.
And that’s huge, because physical and mental swagger is not something society rewards in women. All women - however accomplished - remain implicitly hamstrung by sexist rules. Confidence for women still comes with a warning: be confident, but not too confident. Be bold, but also likeable. Be brilliant - and never make mistakes! - but definitely don’t mention your talent, skill, or expertise. And God forbid you strut.
But Chloe Kelly struts, and I love her for it. Because what she - and the entire Lioness squad - modelled on Sunday night wasn’t just sporting prowess (though there was heaps of that). They showed what happens when women shake off centuries of playing by the aforementioned rules. The Lionesses refuse to be held back by patriarchal requirements and limitations that don’t serve their ambitions. They unceasingly just… go for it.
And it resonated particularly strongly for me as I’d been reading The Authority Gap by Mary Ann Sieghart whilst away last week in Berlin. (I’ve always got some book about gender equality or similar on the go!) And as I continued my reading on the flight home yesterday, I pondered further the actual cultural evolution I’d seen play out on live TV the night before. Because the performance by the Lionesses - and their very existence as a world-class winning women’s team - feels like a beautiful response to Sieghart’s 2021 book.
The Authority Gap is a rigorous, eye-widening tour of all the ways women are still being dismissed, interrupted, passed over, and politely patted on the head. It’s jaw-dropping in its revelations: even Christine Lagarde, Angela Merkel and Julia Gillard - women who’ve been world leaders - shared how making it to the top of the tree still doesn’t guarantee that you’ll be heard, or respected. These women are experts - who are (or have been) literally in charge - yet they all share the same stories of swimming upstream and wrestling with self-doubt. It’s a fascinating read, but it’s apt to make you seethe.
Anyway… that stadium. That crowd on Sunday - and throughout the tournament. And - most notably - all those men: young, old, Spanish, English - all absolutely beaming at women giving it everything. Celebrating them - admiring them. Not for being female athletes - or ‘good for girls’ - but for being absolute legends. And in it all I saw not just progress; I saw culture doing a little somersault and landing somewhere new.
Because yes, girls need female role models. Hell yes! But boys need them too. Boys need to see women win - loudly, confidently, and without a single flicker of apology. Because only when men see women in their full glory - and love it - do we start shifting the dusty old narratives that see brilliant women everywhere either being dismissed or bullied into submission. Or, women exhausting themselves as they tiptoe through the minefields of impossible and contradictory rules that continue to erode opportunities and undermine women’s achievements even when they do succeed.
And Lionesses know this well. Like all women, they’ve had to achieve against a tide of criticism and within the confines of how women are ‘supposed to behave’. But doing so in football ignites a whole additional layer of prejudice. And that’s where the genius of Serena Wiegman comes in. One of her many fortés is creating a culture of unwavering belief, support and encouragement around the team. A den for her Lionesses, if you like. She knows that the wider world is disposed to automatically drag down her squad merely by dint of their gender. It is, after all, a sport many still doggedly believe belongs to men. Serena, however, has ensured the team understand that other people’s doubts just aren’t their problem.
And they aren’t. Other people doubts have so much power. If we give them our attention they can swiftly stop us in our tracks and derail our ambitions and dreams. But we can learn to see them for what they are, and this is a message I hammer home to my clients: your job isn’t to contort yourself into the outdated acceptability requirements that haunt women to this day. Your job is to show up, stand tall, and - when necessary - blast that ball into the back of the net like your life depends on it.
The Lionesses didn’t coast through the tournament. They fought and struggled - and they were doubted and written off at every stage. But they just kept showing up, believing, and showing us what they were made of.
Which brings me to this: How often do you write yourself off too soon?
We all do it. The voice of self-doubt creeps in, sometimes disguised as “realism” or “just being humble.” And yes - as women we do still have to navigate spaces where we’re trying to impress, whilst not being perceived as ‘pushy’ or ‘full of our selves’. Judgement that men don’t have to concern themselves (and waste precious energy) navigating.
But the Lionesses? They showed us that confidence isn’t arrogance - it’s alignment with true value and potential. It's the joyful, grounded knowing that you belong exactly where you are, doing exactly what you’re doing. And that you have the right to be there.
And seeing those men in the crowds - and speaking to men in Berlin fully engaged in the tournament as it unfolded - it hit home how change - real, cultural change - doesn’t happen just because women work harder, or raise their level. It happens when men see women differently. When men cheer not because they’re being “supportive,” but because they’re genuinely captivated, engaged and invested in women. That’s what we saw Sunday night, and it made my heart sing.
So thank you, Lionesses. For the edge-of-the-seat drama, yes (mostly!) But more so for modelling unapologetic female power on the world stage. For turning every doubter’s voice into background noise. For reminding us that swagger and skill and softness can absolutely all exist together in a woman’s body. For showing us - and everyone watching - what being accepted for our brilliant female selves looks like.
And if you read this whilst sitting in the rubble of your life; if you’re wondering how the hell to recalibrate after the storm - whether it’s divorce, burnout, a redundancy or just that sense that something isn’t working anymore - let me create that Lioness den for you.
Because swagger? That can be learned. And I can show you how to create the ease, joy, reinvention, and confidence of champions - that sticks.
📌 Click the link below and book a FREE call with me now and let’s set out your next chapter. The one where you stop playing small and start playing like the whole world is watching - and you’re ready to deliver your winning strike.
Because you are.
DFM Recommends…
Watch this:
Everyone’s getting quite excited about the forthcoming final instalment of Downton Abbey, but if you can’t wait for this climactic fix of class fetishism and period drama silliness then I urge you to check out The Gilded Age on HBO/Now. This New York set drama - also from the maestro of the genre Julian Fellowes - draws on the New World and new-money bitchiness of the late 19th century, with two central families - and matriarchs - battling it out for social power.
It’s another of my guilty pleasures that features Cynthia Nixon (yes, I do watch And Just Like That and believe that the yummy fashion and familiar characters cancel-out the frankly preposterous ‘plot’ lines, which - I know - are signposted more clumsily than 80s daytime drama). Alongside Cynthia and in a decidedly Maggie Smith-esque role is Christine Baranski, who growls as an old-money matriarch unimpressed by her brash new neighbours.
Revolving as it does around the women of the families, the drama has decidedly progressive and feminist undertones and storylines. But I’m not going to pretend I watch it for its politics! I watch it for the fab frocks, the lush décor, and how it compliments my Saturday breakfast in bed so perfectly.
Book this:
If you felt even a fraction of the fire I felt on Sunday, it’s possible that something in Chloe and the England gang set a fire in your own soul. If it did - I urge you to go with it, because there’s nothing more likely to shift you into a new exciting phase than a blast of energising inspiration. Seeing other women do great things expands our own sense of what’s possible - and we need to hold that and work with it.
Because so many of us get to a point in our lives - it can be midlife, it can be sooner - and find we’ve lost our way. Often the wake up call is life events - a crisis, or a period of ongoing unease - and we realise that what previously worked to move the dial or overcome challenges no longer works.
So we panic! Surely we should have it all worked out ‘by now’ - right? “If I can’t sort myself out at this point of my life with all I’ve been through, then I’m a failure!”
But here’s the thing: struggling alone is not the answer.
We need a new roadmap when we hit midlife, or come to that point where just rearranging the pieces of our life will no longer cut it. And we can’t build that roadmap alone - because we need to create and curate a new identity that sets us up for building the life that’s truly ours. We need to embark on genuine transformation - we need a Midlife MOT and we need a guide to help us.
Now, I often speak to women who fear making big change - even when they know how deeply unhappy they are. Even whilst they are struggling and feeling overwhelmed. Why? Because they worry too much personal change will blow up their lives. But it doesn’t work like that! It’s not all or nothing, and you remain in charge. You change what you want to change, or what you understand you need to change. At a pace you decide.
So if you’ve an itch to reinvent yourself that’s ready to be scratched - know that you’re right on time. And that you too can create the new version of you and your life that you deeply desire - without collapsing your whole life.
So if you’re struggling with challenges and unable to take the next step - or even identify what that might be - might it be time to reach out for support?
Because life requires us to transform to truly thrive.
And if you’re feeling that what worked previously doesn’t seem to anymore - you’re right!
Here’s the thing: making that shift into your 2.0 version? It’s hard to do without tailored guidance. Because the maze of change a bugger to find our way out of alone.
And that’s where I can help. Because I’ve been there, and I’ve trained in a coaching modality that delivers the support and the powerful and fast results that will shift you into a whole new life and way of showing up.
It’s time to recalibrate to the life that aligns with who you are - and who you’re ready to become.
So why not click the button below, and book in for FREE with me?
Because when life drops bombs on us, working through the debris is hard - especially alone. Many of us are more disconnected from the help we need than we care to admit. Or, we believe we should be able to deal with everything alone - that needing help equals weakness.
Here’s the thing: that determination to struggle in silence? It’s keeping you stuck. It’s only in relationship with others that we can break free of old patterns and beliefs that no longer serve us - because it’s impossible to see those patterns and beliefs ourselves, let alone know how to transform them!
When there’s a lot to navigate, or when you’re a long way from where you’d like to be, coaching is often the missing piece you didn’t know you needed.
I work with women who’ve spent years living by the rules, roles, or routines expected of them and are now asking: is this it? I help them reconnect with themselves, release guilt and uncertainty, and create a life that feels real, rich, and fully their own.
Whether you’ve built a career, cared for others, or simply kept going without stopping to ask what you really wanted, it’s time to finally put yourself at the centre of your own life.
Because you’ve done everything you were ‘supposed’ to - right? Yet something still feels off. I support women who are quietly questioning their life path so they can realign with their truth - including dreams that perhaps got lost along the way - and design the next chapter on their own terms.
So if you’re feeling emotionally exhausted, overlooked, or like you’ve lost yourself in the demands of life, working with me will enable you to reclaim your identity, expand into new possibility, create much needed boundaries, and finally make space for your own desires and ambitions.
Remember: needing help is ok and doesn’t mean you’ve failed.
So if you’re ready to commit to making REAL and lasting change, why not book a FREE Discovery session with me? Just click here and arrange a 45 minute slot. Together, we’ll explore your reinvention and how you might best achieve it.
In our short time together, I’ll help you:
Set our your vision
Get clear on what’s been holding you back
Get clear on the exact next steps you need to take
Discover if we’re a good fit to work together
What are you waiting for - let’s do this, and let’s get your 2025 on track!
Email wendy@dramafreeyou.com with any questions you don’t see answered at my website.
It’s time to transform your life - let’s do this!
That’s it for now - keep on reaching for your best self, and reaching out to those who might help you.
Because Drama belongs in the movies, not in your life.
Until next time,
Wendy